itsandrewpimentel replied to your post:Wtf.
Wtf. Its pretty awkward when you see the person that doesn’t like you, copy what you say, RIGHT AFTER you said it. Its like they’re mocking you or something.
A lost of music videos have drinking and sexual stuff in them. They all sounds the same too, for shuffling purposes. I don’t know. I’m not hating, just wondering how radio music changed over the years.
You make me smile, you make me happy. I don’t know what’s so special about you, but I feel like I can be my complete self around you and you’d accept me for who I am. I can laugh uncontrollably and you wouldn’t mind. I can repeat the silliest things constantly and you wouldn’t become annoyed. I like talking to you.
The words you’ve forced to echo in my mind, influenced me to push it even harder. No more slacking off. I have one week to raise my grades. It won’t be easy, but I guess your discouragements are going to help me. Time to look at it at different point of view and use it to my advantage.
Its hard to tell if someone actually cares for you. You never really know if they’re friends with you for real, or they’re just using you for their own benefits. Next thing you know, you turn around and every other person in your line of friends turn out to be fakes. I don’t know. I stopped paying attention.
I over think things to the point when I’m stuck in the middle. All the pros and cons cancel each other out. Its hard to think with these situations. So many what ifs and buts. Once I made a decision, its like I automatically change it again.
I’m actually considering of staying, because I need an escape..
I have these doubts, these second thoughts. What if I change my mind again, will I wasted my time? I want to do these other things like sports, but will it be worth the sacrifice to be on dance again? What if I just get myself into more bullshit, then what? Sure, I’ll make my dad proud again, but am i doing what I want to do? I want this now, but what about later?
I don’t fucking know. I can’t be second guessing my decision.
How come its suddenly all my fault? I didn’t know quitting made such a difference how you looked at me. You give me so much crap ever since I left the dance team. Suddenly, everything is my fault and my responsibility.Sometimes I think about staying. I know it’ll take up time, and replace with so much drama. I want to make you proud, but I guess I can’t. I’m too much of a fuck up to you.
You can’t go about laughing and doing your thing with your friends anymore. You can, but you get all these stares and get rumors like you’re a math problem. You just can’t be you. You’ll get opinionated and judged by your appearance from those “cool” kids or those people who think they’re the top.
We can care less what people say, but it ends up getting stacked. Suddenly, it gets piled up too high, and you can’t take it anymore. Then you end up hiding yourself. but who cares?
I’ve always tried keeping everything in. No matter how bad the situation is, I kept most things in. I stopped venting to people, and started writing and burning them. I just don’t see the point anymore. Yes, I know that I have all these people who care for me, and love me. They can give me advice and motivation, but sometimes it gets tiring to hear the same thing.
My dad told me to man up, and not to take things so seriously. He told me telling other people my problems gives them a chance to break me. He said that it’ll only slow me down, and show how weak I am. I’ve been told to keep strong, and keep going. I vent once in a while. When the bottle I keep all my thoughts and secrets start to crack. One day, it broke, and I’m so glad I was around people I can trust and just cry with. Its nice sometimes.